When you first ask yourself this question you will probably think the answer is yes. But if I rephrase the question, do you feel worthy of love without control? Does this change the answer?
From the moment we are born we start to receive love from our parents, they are there to support us and help us grow into well grounded and functioning people (Well that's the plan!). However without realising it, our relationship with our parents a lot of the time is controlled. We are told how well we have done when we achieve things and praised for our good behaviour, but should we step out of line and cause disappointment, we see a different side to the people that love us. Our good behaviour receives large amounts of affection and our bad receives some form of punishment. This is not always the case in every family, but it is certainly in the majority.
So we leave the nest and venture out into the big wide world and learn further examples of this controlled love from our teachers, friends and employers. So what happens when we meet a partner? Without realising it, we accept this love will also have some level of control. Some people will tolerate a large amount and some only a little.
This control can come in so many ways, maybe for you its allowing your partner to always take priority and your thoughts and feelings kept hidden incase of upsetting them. Or do you find yourself being dragged here, there and everywhere in order to keep the peace? Maybe you are in a violent relationship, or your partner offers affection one minute and then is quick to take it away when they feel like it.
Whatever it is, we allow ourselves to be controlled on the basis that this is how we receive love.
But this is not the case!
When we learn to value ourselves, we understand our thoughts and feelings more clearly. We can see what we are holding back and what we need to shift to be able to make a change. Love is something to be valued, something to be shared and something to be cherished. If you do not get it from your relationships, then these are not the right relationships for you. If you do not have love for yourself, how can you work on having love for another? Maybe you are controlling the relationship as you are fearful of being alone, as you do not know how to love yourself.
Whatever has bought you here today and to reading this, has done so for a reason. Maybe now is your time to make a few changes, learn to open yourself up to new possibilities, to let go of some hurtful relationships, or to learn some self love. Maybe it is to reflect on a past experience you have never quite let go of. If we do not recognise these feelings, we can allow ourselves to always fall victim to difficult relationships and never truly be with the people we need in our lives.
You should never allow yourself to be hurt in the promise of love.
Stay beautiful and love unconditionally