That's ​not what I was expecting!

How many times have you said this to yourself? You've had a great business idea, plan for a fun family day trip out or big ambitions for the gym. It can be absolutely anything! I can't tell you the amount of times I have found myself weaker than I anticipated on the yoga mat or walking around a beautiful castle somewhere with my children moaning and groaning about how bored they are.

In this moment you are being given a choice!

This is where you have the voices in the head telling you "your weak, just give up!" "Your a terrible Mother, what did you expect?" Endless noise of self sabotage and an opportunity for you to retreat to a bottle of wine (this would normally be my choice of self pitty.) A pack of biscuits or a good cry under the duvet. When actually this is life, these are little lessons about how we change and how we communicate with ourselves. Instead of turning these moments into problems, we need to try not to attach ourselves to them. They are not reflections of us as people and who cares what others around us may be thinking as a result. Allow the kids to moan and remind yourself of the fact they are out of the house and not on an iPad (success!). Fall out of headstand and lay on your back laughing, think about where you went wrong and what changes to make next time, or get a good nights sleep and try again tomorrow. Maybe your friend or colleague criticises your efforts, when they might actually be jealous of your hard work and you should be using this criticism as a compliment. I could go on!

I had a moment like that this week, when someone read one of my posts after having had what sounded like a horrid start to their day and decided to unleash their frustrations onto me. Yes I'm sure from the outside my world looks peachy! I live in Spain and teach yoga all day (which I love). But really how many people can actually hand on heart say they don't have a care in the world? I still have children and moving to Spain with two young children has bought its own challenges, I am also self employed and have to create an income, I don't have the security of a salary every Month. It doesn't stop there, I could create a list of all the things that I could choose to let me drag myself down (like I used to). In fact I used to do the same thing, I would look at people on social media and compare myself to them, how good they looked, the body they had and the way they made motherhood look so easy. But these were my moments to make a change, I could chose to let this eat away at me and sink into a double decker and bottle of red (a beautiful combination and still a treat of choice on the weekend), or I could use it to inspire me and motivate me to change my life. It was the realisation that these people worked damn hard to get those results and as far as them being a good parent, how could I use a photo to qualify this?

When I first read the message this week, i'm not going to lie, it did sting me. But lightbulb moment, this was my time to choose again. I could allow it to eat away at me and think maybe everyone felt the same way about me and I should just give up. Or take a moment of perspective. Why did they write that message? What was so bad in their day to make them reach out with their frustrations? This was not a time for me to use self pity, it was a moment to reflect on my own journey and where I used to be and use that experience to help those still on the road.

Life for me in my early 30's was certainly not what a small girl dreamed of and I experienced some very dark days. But I made myself wake up to who I had become and what I wanted to be and it was from making changes about my thoughts of myself (especially when the unexpected happened) that I can speak from experience to help others. I learned.......I really worked hard to learn.......I was important! My health was important! I needed time to myself! I needed to let go of other peoples criticisms and expectations and follow my heart! My journey! My dream!

This picture was taken the day we moved to Mojacar! Not sure what I was expecting here.

I am still on my road and I will continue to grow and learn.

Use your "well that's not what I was expecting" to learn, to inspire and to grow too!


Recipe for success:

1 large double decker

1 large glass of Tempranillo - bring to room temperature!

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